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So speechless
When your heart gets broken, there's nothing that can be said. Even if you try to speak no noise can't possibly come out. You are in so much shock you can't feel a thing and then in a few seconds it feels like a crushing waterfall just pours down on you. You can't even breathe, or stand even if you tried. You just accept the inevitable crushing weight and let it take you down and beat you into the ground. You just lie there and try to make sense as to why you read the signs wrong. Then you think and see if there were any signs at all. The mind is cruel in retrospect. It mocks you when you're already down as if you're not hurting enough. What can one say? Nothing, absolutely nothing. You just remain speechless and hope you can breathe again.

I don't understand...
I put in all my effort. I did everything right. And yet...failure...once again. I've had this streak for about a year now. Why? I've changed my tactics I tried harder every single time, and yet it doesn't come through for me. Why??? What am I doing wrong?? I've exhausted my thinking to understand what I did wrong. I hate my life.

So I looove playing video games. I don't want to brag...but I am pretty good at it. I love the Resident Evil Franchise. Well up until the 5th one. Leon S. Kennedy is my favorite player. Also I am a HUGE fan for the Hitman series. Yup the one and only badass, and yet sexy assassin Mr. Agent 47. I know most people hated the movie, but I enjoyed it and Timothy Olyphant was just right for that role. I hope if they make a sequel that he will continue to portray Mr. 47.

I am absolutely excited about the 5th installment of the Hitman series, Hitman: Absolution. It looks gorgeous and super exciting and I hope to play as soon as it comes out.

I also love Call of Duty and Tekken. Tekken is just a great stress reliever for me on my stressful days. So is Hitman when you want to be just a mass murder and just rampage like crazy. Yes it's violent, but hey at least I am taking my frustrations out in the video game world and not in reality. Cause I have to say, if I did what I do in video games, I'll probably a threat to the whole freakin world lol.

Anyways, just wanted to express my interest in the gaming world. It's fantastic =). Can't wait for November 20th!! I want to play Hitman once again baby!!! Oh how I have missed you 47!

New year
I start of this year with a heavy heart. My dearest Bincy, I am so heartbroken that you have to leave. I know it may be years till we see each other again. In the meantime stay strong. You will succeed in all your endeavors. I love you.

Hope everyone had a good one=)
Christmas has ended. I hope everyone had a good one. Now this year is coming to an end. I thank God he has let me come this far. Surely He will provide.

Everyone take care and be safe^_^ Enjoy the rest of 2009!!

You know I understand this is a day to set aside to give thanks, but people remember to always give thanks everyday. Everything won't be exactly be the same every Thanksgiving=) So just do it everyday anyway. I hope everyone has a fantastic Thanksgiving this year! Eat up and be merry!

Misha Collins: I have watched some videos of you on youtube when you were doing your panel at the Chicago Con...haha my gosh you have put a smile on my face^_^. You are awesome.

Lisa: My best friend and sister in the whole wide world. I love you girl! You are amazing!! I hope we always stick together no matter what! I seriously need to get better at DJ Hero...gosh...it is not within my nature to be not somewhat great at these games! haha...sorry if I sound arrogant or cocky...I love video games=)

Julio: Ya what can say man, you are my nazi zombie killing partner...LOL..i love that game! Thanks for getting me addicted to it. Gives me another excuse to come to your house besides Supernatural...yeah you're just not a good enough reason for me to go over there...LOL jk jk..you are awesome my friend^_^

Okayyyy I really need to go to bed..it's 2:02 AM and I still can't fall asleep...RIDICULOUS! Alright I'm going to try!


Seriously hahahA CONGRATS TO JENSEN AND DANEEL!!!! I am so happy you guys are getting married.^_^ You two are beautiful individuals and are even more gorgeous together^_^

Hope God blesses yall with many many years of happiness^_^

Being the one to pick up the pieces...
I am always the one picking up the pieces after a break-up. Though I have never had the privilege of being in a relationship. I heard once, some people can be called to be single. If I am one of them, it was never my choice to be so. Then when i see those with their hearts ripped out, I wonder: is it worth it? To fall in love so hard, to build that relationship for years, and have it just taken away in second; is it really worth it?

But I say, I'll take the pain, the heartbreak the fight. Love is nothing more and nothing less. We have to see and experience this to know happiness. Therefore my question to myself, is if I do not know that, will I know love? Will I know happiness for that matter?

So many questions...

Lovers are the most skilled liars; a deception everyone can see, except the lovers themselves.

Farewell to Michael and Farrah
This will be my first entry...and I am sorry to say that it has to be when two very famous and wonderful people died.

To Farrah....very beautiful and talented.  You were such the golden star of of hollywood. May you rest in peace.

And finally to Michael Jackson....such an iconic pop star.  I grew up to your songs and they were so inspiring and so addicting.  Definitely brought a smile to my face when you performed.  You were energetic and so full of life.  Even now you still live within our hearts through your music and such trendy dance moves.  May you rest in peace as well. I pray that the Lord be with his friends and family.  May they be comforted  through God's grace.

We will miss you...